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Miss Criss

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(2 people pretended to read Kafka | METAMORPHOSIZE!)

for shame [14 Sep 2008|02:42am]
[ mood | excited ]



Why did I JUST learn about this upcoming release?!>!?!?!

(2 people pretended to read Kafka | METAMORPHOSIZE!)

Making John McCain Exciting [03 Sep 2008|11:23am]


nice work folks.


This morning I saw a headline about Jamie Lynn Spears sending Bristol Palin a present for her fetus. wtf?

(1 people pretended to read Kafka | METAMORPHOSIZE!)

can't be healthy [03 Sep 2008|03:19am]
So... I've successfully fucked up my circadian rhythm. I can't sleep until 6am, then I'm comatose until about 1pm. If I have work or an appt, I'll get up earlier, otherwise mornings don't exist for me anymore.

Also, I can't wait until x-mas because

a.) I love me some Christmas music/Christmas food/Christmas decorations/Christmas at sbux[ - the psycho 150 at once giftcard purchasing customers]/Christmas everything

and

b.) I'm going to get my brother this as a part of his gift.

(METAMORPHOSIZE!)

maybe next time? [03 Sep 2008|02:51am]
[ mood | restless ]

It's sorta stupid, but I'm experiencing all this guilt over not giving this guy a free coffee today. You see, I smoked out with him at a coworker's party a couple weeks ago and in my stupor promised him the biggest, hottest coffee ever for being so generous and an overall nice chap to my friend and I. It's not like he's going to hold me to that promise, he just deserves a free drip. But hey, I honestly couldn't give it to him cause I was not on the floor. Well, actually I was, literally... crouched on the floor deep cleaning our 'ready to drink & eat' case. And he was trying to chit-chat, but I was wrist deep in dust and grime.

oh well.

(2 people pretended to read Kafka | METAMORPHOSIZE!)

some really obvious shit [17 Aug 2008|02:35pm]
[ mood | uncomfortable ]

So...





my life is an endless loop of me asking myself, "WHAT THE FUCK WAS I THINKING?!"


I think I need to go into some sort of social hibernation until I stop hating myself.

(4 people pretended to read Kafka | METAMORPHOSIZE!)

It's a sad, sad world after all [09 Apr 2008|01:01am]
[ mood | disappointed ]

LOOKING FOR NEW FRIENDS:

Ages 17-30; gender, race, sexual orientation, political and religious affiliation not an issue as long as you...


*don't use 'penultimate' as a synonym for 'quintessential'
*don't say 'irregardless', 'could care less' or 'speciality'
*want to better yourself/grow[intellectually, spiritually, etc] and have some semblance of an idea of what you will be doing for the next few years
*aren't trying to become bulimic to shed off some pounds
*aren't in denial about your mental health
*aren't in denial about why you are constantly texting your ex
*aren't sexually promiscuous to a severe degree
*don't use me as a tool to simultaneously make yourself feel better [because of my appearance] and worse [because of my minor successes in life]
*aren't an asshole
*like 'the office'


Position includes lengthy conversations about fictional characters from novels, movies, and television; drinking games; watching countless dvds; the making and enjoyment of baked goods; listening to old school R&B, pretentious indie rock/electronica, and modern hip-hop for the sheer fun of it; possible trips to theme parks, museums, coffee shops, trendy frozen yogurt spots, theatres, regular parks, concerts, libraries, and beaches; playing video games; and late-nite dance parties in our cars. Further activities and privileges can be negotiated after position is obtained by the applicant.

Salary: whatever you finds, you keeps.

Hours: Very flexible.

Email CVs and references to redbigballoon@gmail.com

(2 people pretended to read Kafka | METAMORPHOSIZE!)

Overheard in Starbucks: [03 Apr 2008|02:09am]
[ mood | awake ]

"Can you stop saying that word?! 'GNARLY.' It's so ugly! It's such an ugly word! What does it even mean?!"

oh dear...

(METAMORPHOSIZE!)

I'll come running with a heart on fire! [22 Mar 2008|01:05am]
[ mood | pleased ]

jens lekman 2

Jens Lekman was magical. Simply magical.

There was this really irritating bitch in front of me with her fucking lame-ass Thora Birch in Ghost World haircut and glasses and funky, 80's revival-ish, hot-pink shirt with zig-zags on it who kept complaining the entire time between sets. Especially about the guy next to her, who was actually polite and not doing a single thing to her. I think her night had been going poorly, plus the idiot dropped her sweater past the pit railing into the "PRESS ZONE" and couldn't really reach it. Everyone has shitty nights [I lost my glasses in a storm drain and got soaked to the bone when I saw Bloc Party several years ago, so, hey, I've definitely been there!], no excuse to be cruel to the innocents around you. But, once the music came on, and she shut her fucking trap, all was well in the world.

He was very interactive with the audience. He asked us, actually only those of us with 'dark' voices[the darker, the better], to sing the chorus on 'Pocketful of Money'. And retold the hilariously awkward [to a beyond Three's Company level] story behind 'A Postcard to Nina' while singing it. :)

I think I've remembered the complete set-list. I could've gotten the order mixed up or forgotten something [god forbid]... oh well. This is obviously just something to help me remember this very special evening.

I’m Leaving You Because I Don’t Love You
The Opposite of Hallelujah
Black Cab
New Directions
A Postcard to Nina
Julie
Maple Leaves
It Was a Strange Time in My Life
Your Arms Around Me
Sipping on the Sweet Nectar

Encore 1:
You Are The Light (By Which I Travel Into This and That)
A Sweet Summer’s Night on Hammer Hill

Encore 2:
A Little Lost [Arthur Russel]
Shirin
A Pocketful of Money

(METAMORPHOSIZE!)

I might say, "fuck off!" to French class, come morning. [17 Mar 2008|03:38am]
[ mood | thoughtful ]

I miss my dog incredibly.

My brother is taking the loss at least 5 times worse than me. He was literally sobbing most of yesterday. I don't care if that makes anybody perceive him to be any less of a 'man'. He would still fuck you up from here to next Sunday. He just loved Sebbo with all of his heart. I think it was literally like losing a child, for him. Sebbo was his friend, and ultimately Sebbo was a tie to our father, who made us promise that we'd take care of him before he passed. And now that he's gone, it just re-emphasizes that our parents are dead too. So he's pretty fucked up over it.

In other, non-depressing news:

* Ari got me an 'i-Trip'. I'm gonna try it out tomorrow...since my ipod isn't charged yet.
* I'm seeing Jens Lekman on Friday.

(METAMORPHOSIZE!)

purple [26 Jan 2008|07:16pm]

(METAMORPHOSIZE!)

nude bodysnatchers in a house of cards on videotape is all i need [26 Jan 2008|12:09pm]
[ mood | calm ]

So, I've been listening to In Rainbows in my car for nearly a month, and I can't adequately articulate my feelings in regards to it, so I'm going to let this guy do the honors. [if you don't like radiohead,you don't have to read the seemingly aggrandizing review I'm about to link. Well, you don't have to read it if you do, either. I just particularly liked the pretentious references and humor.]


http://www.drawerb.com/2007/11/30/review-radiohead-in-rainbows/

(2 people pretended to read Kafka | METAMORPHOSIZE!)

ach [28 Dec 2007|04:19pm]
[ mood | drained ]

I had to visit the dentist for an emergency root canal this morning. fun stuff.

Didn't actually hurt at all since Dr. Mila drugged me up something serious. Because I was in no pain, I kept wanting to see what terrifying things she was doing to my tooth, purely out of curiosity, but she kept saying, "CLOSE YOUR EYES CRISTINA!!" so I'd have to oblige since she was holding a drill and other sharp things at the time.


I came across this movie poster sometime in the past couple of days:


a few questions arise:
*Edward Furlong is making films?
*Edward Furlong still looks like a butch lesbian?
*Bai Ling actually does something to which we can attribute her social parasitic behavior and appearances on gofugyourself on a near daily basis?
*To what extent will Russians be offended through the obvious stereotypes included?
*Michael Madsen, are you for real?

(METAMORPHOSIZE!)

it was a nice day. [15 Dec 2007|09:44pm]
[ mood | sleepy ]

*Enchanted was very cute.

*I Am Legend literally knocked me out of my shoe[only one fell off during my tremor]

*Today marked the first time I bought someone aside from my sister sexy panties.

*Happenstance led me to a free tote bag.

(METAMORPHOSIZE!)

Come on! Let's Boogey to the Elf Dance! [15 Dec 2007|03:50am]
[ mood | cheerful ]

Tie up your boots
Jump off the ladder
Pack up your clothes
Nothing's the matter
Mistletoe hangs
Up in the bedroom
Your sister's bangs
She cut them herself

Santa is here
Sleighbells are ringing
Twenty-one elves
They are all singing
K-Mart is closed
So is the bakery
Everyone's at home
Watching TV

Santa Claus is coming
Hear the banjo strumming


I'm not quite sure why, but my Christmas spirit has suddenly grown three sizes larger this year. Maybe I should blame the music?

(3 people pretended to read Kafka | METAMORPHOSIZE!)

Some people have way too much time on their hands. [01 Dec 2007|11:12am]
[ mood | awake ]

I received a very strange phone call at work last night.

Here's how the conversation went, as best as I can recall.

Me: Hi, Starbucks North Hills, Cristina speaking. How may I help you?

Stranger: Uh..hi. Yeah, like how many calories are in a JAVA CHIP?

M: I don't know off the top of my head, but I could look it up in our nutritional information pamphlet.

S: Yeah, can you like do that for me?

M: Sure. What size Java Chip?

S: Tall!

M: It's 270 calories.

S: FUCK! THAT MUCH?! FUCK!!....You think that's the reason I'm growing a penis?

M: I don't think so, no.

S: Let me ask you something. Have you ever had, "lesbian thoughts"?

M: No, not really, no.

S: OH HO HO! You said "not really!" That means that you have!

M: Everyone has a THOUGHT about it.

S: So, you wanna scissor sometime?

M: No thanks, I don't know what diseases you might have.

S: I JUST WANT TO SCISSOR. What was your name again?

M: Cristina.

S: Okay, Cristina, I'm gonna come in and get some Starbucks. In like 2 seconds, I'm outside, walking towards the door. Oh, I see you.

M: I don't see anybody.

S: Yeah, that's probably because I'm not there. YET!

M: Alright, do you have any other questions? I have a lot of work to do.

S: WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT..wait...wait..wait.

M: Alright, you have a nice evening now.

S: WAIT! NO, NO, WAIT.. wait, CRISTINA, CRISTINA, wait.

M: Goodnight.

[click]

(2 people pretended to read Kafka | METAMORPHOSIZE!)

WTF [27 Nov 2007|10:44pm]
[ mood | distressed ]











(2 people pretended to read Kafka | METAMORPHOSIZE!)

... [26 Nov 2007|12:49am]
[ mood | cold ]

My brother won't allow me to turn on the heater because he is going through what I presume is male menopause and is experiencing extended hot flashes. He argued that is was warm while wearing shorts and a t-shirt while I am freezing under 3 layers and a blanket insulated with magic manufactured in the former soviet union.




p.s. I spent far too much money on designer art toys.

But, honestly, how can I continue living without having this guy by my side:


p.p.s. Bender's Big Score is really cute. I've missed Futurama a lot.

(METAMORPHOSIZE!)

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW. [25 Oct 2007|02:13pm]
[ mood | touched ]

I wasn't having the best morning in the world until I came across this:



Now, all is right with the world.

(2 people pretended to read Kafka | METAMORPHOSIZE!)

J.K. Rowling outs Hogwarts character [20 Oct 2007|12:50am]
[ mood | amused ]

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20071020/ap_on_en_ot/books_harry_potter


I totally didn't see this coming while reading... but in hindsight it results in a big "OHHHHH". I always thought there could be something between him and Minerva, but clearly I was reading too far into their friendship.

but man, young Grindelwald/Dumbledore sex would be SOOOO HOTTTT.</grossfangirl>

[edit]p.s. here's the ONTD post with a better article and tons of truly lol-worthy reactions in lj-comment form:
http://community.livejournal.com/ohnotheydidnt/16621537.html#cutid1

(5 people pretended to read Kafka | METAMORPHOSIZE!)

management can fornicate themselves with a giant fork. [18 Oct 2007|05:34pm]
[ mood | pissed off ]

I honestly can't help being a bitch at work.

It's to be expected when I'm told I can be reprimanded and written up for the way I apply whip cream to drinks during a rush.

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